THECLOWNCLINIC
Wednesday, February 11, 2004
> ~~~~~CUSTOMER SERVICE~~~~> > This has got to be one of the funniest I've heard of in a long time. I
> think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story
> from the WordPerfect Helpline which was transcribed from a recording
> monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say, the Help Desk
> employee was fired however, he is currently suing the WordPerfect
> organization for "Termination without Cause." This is the actual dialogue
of
> a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee (now I know why they record
> these conversations)
> > "Rich Hall computer assistance; may I help you?"
> > "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
> > "What sort of trouble?"
> > "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went
> away."
> > "Went away?"
> > "They disappeared."
> > "Hmmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
> > "Nothing."
> > "Nothing?
> > "It's a blank; it won' t accept anything when I type."
> > "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"
> > "How do I tell?"
> > "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"
> > "What's a sea-prompt?"
> > "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"
> > "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
> > "Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
> > "What's a monitor?"
> > "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it
have
> little light that tells you when it's on?"
> > "I don't know."
> > "Well, then look on the back of th! e monito r and find where the
power
> cord goes into it. Can you see that?"
> > "Yes, I think so."
> > "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into
> the wall."
> > "Yes, it is."
> > "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two
> cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"
> > "No."
> > "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the
other
> cable."
> > "Okay, here it is."
> > "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back
of
> your computer."
> > "I can't reach."
> > "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"
> > "No."
> > "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"
> > "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle it's because it's
> dark."
> > "Dark?"
> > "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in
> from the window."
> > "Well, turn on the office light then."
> > "I can't."
> > "No? Why not?"
> > "Because there's a power failure."
> > "A power.......a power failure?.... Aha, Okay, we've got it licked
now.
> > Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your
computer
> came in?"
> > "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
> > "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it
> was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."
> > "Really? Is it that bad?"
> > "Yes, I'm afraid it is."
> > "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"
> > "Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer."
Kissing soundz
A Pakistani guy, Indian Guy, a beautiful girl and an
old woman are sitting in a train.
The train suddenly goes thru a tunnel and it gets
completely dark.
Suddenly there is a kissing sound, followed by a loud
slap!
The train comes out of the tunnel, the Indian guy,
Pakistani guy, beautiful girl and the old woman are
sitting there looking perplexed.
The Pakistani guy is bent over holding his face, which
is red from an apparent slap.
The old woman is thinking that the Pakistani guy must
have tried to kiss the beautiful girl and got slapped.
The Pakistani guy is thinking, "Damn it, yaar, that
Indian guy must have tried to kiss the beautiful girl
who must have thought it was me and slapped me."
The beautiful girl is thinking "that Pakistani guy
must have moved to kiss me, but kissed the old lady
instead and got slapped."
The Indian guy is thinking, "if this train goes through
another tunnel, I could make another kissing sound and
slap that Pakistani guy again".
