Chilli?
A guy sits down in a cafe and asks for the hot chilli. The waitress says, "The guy next to you got the last bowl."
He looks over and sees that the guy;s finished his meal, but the chilli bowl is still full
He says, "Hi! Are you going to eat that?"
The other guy says, "No. Help Yourself."
He takes it and starts to eat it. When he gets about half way through, his fork hits something. He looks down and sees a dead mouse in it, and he pukes all of the chilli back into the bowl.
The other guy says, "That's about as far as i got too."

Lucky...
There were three lunatics who were walking down the street when they came across a huge pile of shit.
The 1st loony put his eye in it and said, "Looks like shit."
The 2nd one puts his nose in it and said, "Smells like shit."
The last one puts his tongue in it and said, "Tastes like shit."
They all looked at each other and said, "Lucky we didn't step on it."

Math problems?
Q: What did the Mathematician do when he was constipated?
A: He worked it out with a pencil.



- Dr.Dan diagnosed you on 9:38 AM