THECLOWNCLINIC
Thursday, April 22, 2004
20 Yo' Mama jokes...
1. Your mama''''s glasses are so thick that when she lookes on a map she can see people waving.
2. Yo mama's so fat, when she stepped on the dog's tail we had to change his name to Beaver.
3. Yo mama's so fat, when the cops see her on a street corner they yell, "Hey you guys, break it up!"
4. Yo mama's so fat, even Richard Simmons laughs at her!
5. Yo mama's so fat she makes Godzilla look like an action figure.
6. Yo mama's so fat she makes Godzilla look like an action figure.
7. Yo mama is so dirty she has to creep up on the bathwater.
8. The only difference between your mama and a washing machine is, after you drop a load in the washing machine, it doesn't follow you around!
9. Yo' mama's lips so big, she can whisper in her own ear.
10. Yo' mama so dumb, she waited at a STOP sign until it said GO!
11. Yo mama's so big, fat and clumsy, when she tried to get to Wal-Mart, she stumbled over K-Mart and landed right on Target.
12. Your mama cooks so bad, your family prays after they eat!
13. What is the difference between yo' mama and a winding road? The winding road has curves you can get used to
14. Yo' mama's a saint...a St. Bernard!
15. Yo mama is so ugly that when she worked at the bakery they dipped her face in the batter to make animal cookies
16. Yo' mama's breath is so nasty, when she burps her teeth have to duck.
17. Yo' mama's breath is so nasty, when she burps her teeth have to duck.
18. Yo mama's feet are so scaly that they filmed Crocodile Dundee in her footbath.
19. Yo mama's so fat, when she farted pluto's ice caps melted.
20. Yo mama's house is so small, I threw a rock in the window and hit everyone inside.
Things Your Mom Would Never Say to You
1. How on earth can you see the TV sitting so far back?
2. Yeah, I used to cut class a lot too.
3. Let me smell that shirt - don't worry, it's good for another week.
4. Go ahead and keep that stray dog, honey. I'll be glad to feed and walk him every day.
5. That outfit isn't sexy enough, here, unbutton your blouse.
6. Why don't you hitchhike? It would totally be cheaper.
7. The curfew is just a general time to shoot for. It's not like I'm running a prison around here.
8. Don't clean your room so often. It makes the rest of the house look bad.
9. Can I borrow your new speed metal CDs?
10.Naw, you don't have to call me, I'll eventually figure it out if you're in trouble.
Monday, April 19, 2004
Ah Soh wants to buy a TV set. She goes to a shop.
Ah Soh : "Do you have color TV ?"
Salesgirl : "Yes !"
Ah Soh : "Give me a green one, please "
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Ah Soh is filling up an application form for a job.
She supplied the information for the columns on Name, Age, Address etc
Then she comes to column on "Salary Expected" She is not sure of the
question.
After much thought, she writes " Yes "
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Ah Soh goes to a store and sees a shiny object.
Ah Soh : "What is that shiny object ?"
Salesgirl : "That is a thermos flask."
Ah Soh : "What does it do ?"
Salesgirl : "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold"
Ah Soh : "I'll buy it"
The next day, Ah Soh goes to work with her thermos flask
Boss : "What is that sh iny object ?"
Ah Soh : "It's a thermos flask."
Boss : "What does it do?"
Ah Soh : "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold"
Boss : "What do you have in it ?"
Ah Soh : "Two cups of coffee and a coke" (^_^)
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After taking photocopies of documents,
Ah Soh always compare it with the original for spelling mistakes.
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Ah Soh always smile during lightning storms
Because she thinks her picture is being taken.
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How can you tell if the fax is from Ah Soh ?
Because it has a postage stamp on it.
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Why can't Ah Soh dial 911 ?
Because she can't find the number 11 (eleven) on the phone.
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Ah Soh and her friend board a double-decker bus.
Her friend get a seat downs tair and Ah Soh goes upstairs.
After a while, her friend goes upstairs to look for Ah Soh and find her
clutching the seats in both hands and her body is shivering
Her friend: "What happen to you ? why are you shivering, I was enjoying my
ride downstair"
Ah Soh : "Yeah, but you've got a driver but I don't"
