If ur having a bad day, check out these actual cases!

1.
Fire authorities in California found a corpse in a burned-out section of forest while assessing the damage done by a forest fire. The deceased male was dressed in a full wet suit, complete with scuba tanks on his back, flippers, and facemask. A postmortem test revealed that the man died not from burns, but from massive internal injuries. Dental records provided a positive identification. investigators then set about to determine how a fully clothed diver ended up in the middle of a forest fire.
It was revealed that on the day of the fire, the man went diving off the coast, some 20 miles from the forest. The fire fighters, seeking to control the fire as quickly as possible, had called in a fleet of helicopters with very large dip buckets. Water was dipped from the ocean and emptied at the site of the forest fire.
You guessed it. One minute our diver was making like Flipper in the
Pacific, the next, he was doing the breaststroke in a fire dip bucket 300 feet in the air. Some days it just doesn't pay to get out of bed.


2.
A man was working on his motorcycle on the patio, his wife nearby in the kitchen. While racing the engine, the motorcycle accidentally slipped into gear. The man, still holding onto the handlebars, was dragged along as it burst through the glass patio doors. His wife, hearing the crash, ran in the room to find her husband cut and bleeding, the motorcycle, and the shattered patio door. She called for an ambulance and, because the house sat on a fairly large hill, went down the several flights of stairs to meet the paramedics and escort them to her husband. While the attendants were loading her husband, the wife managed to right the motorcycle and push it outside. She also quickly blotted up the spilled gasoline with some paper towels and tossed them into the toilet.

After being treated and released, the man returned home, looked at the
shattered patio door and the damage done to his motorcycle. He went into the bathroom and consoled himself with a cigarette while attending to his business. About to sta nd, he flipped the butt between his legs. After being treated and released, the man returned home, looked at the
shattered patio door and the damage done to his motorcycle. He went into the bathroom and consoled himself with a cigarette while attending to his business. About to sta nd, he flipped the butt between his legs. The wife, who was in the kitchen, heard a loud explosion and her husband screaming. Finding him lying on the bathroom floor with his trousers blown away and burns on his buttocks, legs and groin, she once again phoned for an ambulance. The same paramedic crew was dispatched.
As the paramedics carried the man down the stairs to the ambulance they
asked the wife how he had come to burn himself. She told them. They
started laughing so hard, one slipped, the stretcher and dumping the
husban d out. He fell down the remaining stairs, breaking his arm.

3.
A small white guy goes into an elevator, when he gets in he
> notices a huge black dude standing next to him. The big
> black dude looks down upon the small white guy and says: "7
> foot tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch dick, 3 pound left ball, 3
> pound right ball, Turner Brown" The small white guy faints!!
> The big black dude picks up the small white guy and
> brings him to, slapping his face and shaking him and asks
> the small white guy. "What's wrong?". The small white guy
> says; "Excuse me but what did you say?". The big black dude
> looks down and says "7 foot tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch dick,
> 3 pound left ball, 3 pound right ball, my name is Turner
> Brown." The small white guy says, "Thank god, I thought you
> said 'Turn around. '"






- Dr.Dan diagnosed you on 12:38 PM